In a flurry of news, Nintendo announced its new Zelda game was set in space, God of War IV will be an RPG and Microsoft have purchased the moon! Did I fool you? Of course I didn’t, because April 1^st has been and gone, and made my job a hell of a lot more difficult than it ought to be…. I’d read an interesting and earth shattering story and think that “Oh, this’ll be great for the article!” and start typing. Then I’d notice the date. Then I’d start crying…

However, in some news that is real (and awesome), Australian gamers took to the streets to protest their censorship. For those not in the know, Australia has two rather worrying issues: firstly, several games are seeing censored versions being released in Australia or not seeing a release at all. While I can always rally behind a cause that supports video games, what I find even more disturbing is that the Australian Government has proposed an Internet filter… for the entire country. That’s not so much a nanny state as a totalitarian one. So when I heard about the protest I felt for the guys and gals all going out to make their stand. I’m a pretty left-wing guy at heart and protests always rile me up. So when I saw what the protesters were actually doing, well, I thought it could just be the most awesome thing ever. They were dressing up and protesting as zombies:

Click to see the Zombies get their March On!

Yep, bona-fida zombie protesters folks. Gotta love their thinking. The protest was followed by beer and party, making the day out a worthy one for all. Good on you guys and good luck with your campaign.

Moving away from the political, Activision managed to do something so abysmal that it seem like something only Sony would dream up. As if the price of the MW2 stimulus package wasn’t insulting enough (a staggering 1,200 Microsoft points for 5 maps!) it seems that Acti wanted to make sure everybody suffered. When the map pack launched, it wasn’t only broken (images failed to load and matchmaking didn’t work), but it also made it impossible for anybody to buy anything off Microsoft’s Xbox Live service. How they managed to do it I don’t know, but I bet the PS3 owners are damn happy the 360 owners got the pack first. For approximately 24 hours, Xbox Live suffered a colossal server failure that made purchases, registration, and redemption of codes entirely impossible. Thankfully, the issue is now resolved, but let it never be said that my hatred of Activision is unfounded.

As for other developments… well I could give you a rundown of the April Fools this year, but there were so many and you probably saw most of them that I feel my efforts would be pointless. That and it’s not really news. And I can’t be bothered. So instead, let’s talk about the launch of a product. Am I a hypocrite? Yes. And I don’t care, because there’s a lot to write about the iPad, mostly that there is basically nothing new about it at all. I’ve been looking forward to talking about the iPad, so if you are an Apple lover you might find the next paragraph either painful or enlightening. If I wrote it properly, it will be both.

He's basically a Bond villain except that he bought James Bond

The iPad is a con. A big shiny con. Admittedly, it’s like one of those cons where you go to a casino, flirt with a beautiful woman, drink a few martinis and get to soak up the atmosphere, but at the end of the night you’ll find yourself in an alley with no clothes and £1,000 less than what you started with… and no home because Steve Jobs took it. You see, the iPad is the ultimate example of selling you the same product twice. If you own an iTouch or iPhone you already own this; not only that, you own a version that is not only smaller, more comfortable, and has more functionality (get this, some can make phone calls!), but also cheaper.

The iPad, on the other hand, is a larger and more cumbersome product with less features. Why would someone want this? I could understand if it had a powerful processor, the ability to stream films on it without Netflix, and maybe giving us some real buttons for games. If the iPad could run the Source Engine and let consumers use Steam on the move, you would have my money on the table, but it can’t. Sure, it can play Sam & Max (which I am impressed with) but that’s also on my PC and the more I thought about it, the more I decided it was a better PC game as opposed to a portable one. As it stands, it’s a big iPhone that can’t make phone calls, or use flash. Oh, and before anybody accuses me of being anti-Apple, I own an iTouch and I love it. I’ve spent far too much on apps I don’t want or even use but I still buy more and that is why I will never trust Steve Jobs because behind that cool exterior lies the mind of an evil genius. An evil genius with a casino and the deed to your house.

So that covers product releases. But, what about games? Here are a rundown of the more interesting ones:

BlazBlue: Oh! Fighting game from the US and Japan sees it’s UK release at last. Mega balanced and very fun, for the Street Fighter fan who wishes there was less Hadouken.

Lips I <3 the 80’s: SINGING! WHILE BEING JUDGED! These kind of games are two a penny and usually completely pointl… wait… it’s made by INiS? The guys who did Elite Beat Agents? I want 10 copies.

Cyberbike: For people who just hate the real world. And fun.

Anyway, enough ranting, check out the Zippy Gamer UK Podcast for more thoughts on some of the games we’ve been playing (Episode 3 is all about Bioshock, Just Cause 2 and a little Red Steel 2 and Episode 4 coming at the end of this week should be all about Heavy Rain and maybe a bit of Pokémon) and for our thoughts on some announcements. This is Lewis Dunn signing out.