Buxom, upper-class brunette lady looking for a smart, attractive and eligible male.

My hobbies include: scuba diving, archaeology, gymnastics, globetrotting and slaughtering endangered wildlife.  I have been through some tough times over the last 10 years, but I’m back on form again recently and I feel ready to explore again.

Devoted single father with a large build looking for a woman to share my life with.

Interests include swimming, aquatic life, power tools and self-defense.  I share a wonderful property with a few oddball characters that are always arguing but it has a great ocean view.  Love of children is important, because as part of my job I am always looking after them. E-mail steve@rapture.com

I’m a 30-year-old, sunglasses wearing, 6ft tall,  ripped guy.

I’m a big fan of kicking ass and chewing bubblegum (but sometimes I run out of gum). I have a hatred for pigs who dress like police officers and extra terrestrials as a whole. Looking for a woman who doesn’t mind if I start something and never finish.

Chubby Italian plumber, 29 years of age.

I run my own plumbing business with my brother.  Looking for a blonde lady I can treat like a princess.  My old GF was constantly leaving me for the slimy, cold-blooded sort.  Hobbies include go-karting, golf, and basketball. I’m very open minded am willing to try any activity at least once. Please send all correspondence to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Spiky, blue hedgehog looking for a new group of friends to hang out with.

My current group is a bit of a handful.  I’m looking for friends with attitude that won’t run from a fight – I have a bit of a beef with a  morbidly obese egg-shaped man.  I enjoy sports and I’ve recently started racing cars with my workmates.

Abused and exotic yellow-coloured creature looking to be rescued.

My current master is a right bastard and pits me against other animals (well at least until I faint). He fights against anyone who looks at him funny and I’m at my wits end.  I am kept in cramped conditions against my will and only let out when he needs me.  I have an electric personality and just looking for a new owner so I can grow and evolve.

Overworked and underpaid South American currently working for the US government.

I’m looking for a new job because my current workload is too chaotic.  I get to travel all over the world and get to meet some very interesting characters.  Seeking a new career as my co-workers are obnoxious and I don’t think my insurance covers all that my job requires of me. I’m desperate for a new job. I could even do window cleaning too because I’m quite good with heights.