Warning: These are not safe for work!

Sega gives a new meaning to “playing with your joystick.”

A classy reference to the “masturbating will make you go blind” myth.

Yeah, it’s somewhat common for those in the North to pee their name in the snow. Don’t ask me why.

This advertisement is nuts.

And finally, the best for last…

Probably the best advertisement for any video game, period.

Have you seen any other funny ads? Let us know about them in the comments below.

The Handheld Battle

It seems so long ago, but in the 8-bit era we were lucky to have the LCD dot-matrix Game Boy. No one was crazy about monochrome, but it worked. The competition’s handheld gaming used a static, painted backdrop.

We saw pre-molded LCD caricatures in which movement was defined by disappearing from one part of the screen to appear on another part; comparatively, the 8-bit yellow-and-green dot matrix LCD screen of the Game Boy worked.

Not only did we now have a handheld video game system that actually created its own backgrounds and allowed for actual fluid motion, but we got a handheld that had interchangeable games (as novel as that sounds)!

Still, it was only monochrome, or as Sega called it in their Game Gear ads, “creamed spinach-colored”. So, many of us – myself included – could only wonder what Super Mario Land would’ve looked like in color form on our NES.

We waited, hoping Nintendo would be generous and give us an enhanced port of the game, but it was for naught.

Sega ramped things up substantially when they delivered their Master System in the form of a handheld: a device known as the Sega Game Gear. Full color and a built-in backlight! Sure, it sacrificed battery life, and ni-cads offered HALF the life of alkaline batteries, but it was full-color.

16-bit Era

The years moved on. Nintendo moved on from the NES to SNES, and Sega moved on from the Master System/Master System II to the Genesis. The handheld market stagnated. So many systems fell by the wayside. Among them were the Turbo Express, Atari Lynx, Neo Geo Pocket, and ultimately, the Sega Game Gear.

In 1998, Nintendo decided to take a big leap forward. Even though they had total dominance over the handheld market, they recognized the need for handheld gaming to go live with color. The GameBoy Color came into the world.

It was fully backwards-compatible with all previous GameBoy games, allowing button-combinations to change screen pallet color, and boasted a specially light-reflective screen. Unless you were in total darkness, chances are you could easily see games on your GameBoy Color screen without much trouble.

Nintendo also gave new life to two classics: Super Mario Bros. and Link’s Awakening in the form of Super Mario Bros. DX, which had some additional content added rather than a straight port of the old game, and The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening DX, which added new content and was backwards compatible with the old Gameboys!

Nintendo Innovations

Nintendo wasn’t done yet. Far from it, in fact. Just a few small years later, the GameBoy Advance came to life. Yes, it was incredible. SNES graphics in handheld form. In fact, it was so incredible, even Nintendo didn’t realize its full capabilities! Around its release, Nintendo stated the system was lacking the Mode 7 technology and wouldn’t be able to handle 3-D graphics the way the SNES could.

They had to admit they were wrong when games like Star-X, Top Gear Rally, and Hotwheels Stunt Challenge came to be. Star-X came very close to Nintendo’s Star Fox. The graphics were quite close. Actually, one who didn’t pay attention to the fact none of Nintendo’s trademark characters weren’t anywhere to be seen could think it was Star Fox.

Alas, time marches on. While the GBA could give gamers SNES-level graphics, Nintendo moved from the Nintendo 64 to the GameCube, Sony moved from the PSX to the PS2, and Microsoft unleashed the XBox. Some looked at the GBA as being “antiquated”.

Whilst the consoles were boasting the fully 3-D Grand Theft Auto III, the GBA could only replicate the old-style top-down GTA gameplay. Some of us didn’t mind; we liked the classic “back-to-your-roots” gameplay. Others weren’t so pleased. It seemed that as with previous eras, no handheld could ever come close to console-level graphics. It was like the comparison of a home console to arcade machines in the 1980’s. It seemed as though every time a new console hit the market, the arcade world just reached its next level.

Dual Screen’s Bring New Success

It was time for a revamp to the handheld market. At E3 2004, Nintendo unleashed its “third pillar” known as the Nintendo DS. Not so much a “handheld portable” as a system that just simply did more than previous handhelds had done.

With dual-screen action, a touch-screen, a microphone, and Nintendo 64-quality graphics all made this a system worth looking into. I remember watching Nintendo’s press conference at E3 2004. While I was also quite excited about the new games they’d shown coming to the GameCube and GBA, I was mostly excited about the DS.

I didn’t know what was bubbling down below in the Sony world. It would be the biggest change to hit conventional handheld gaming since the original GameBoy: the Sony PlayStation Portable, or PSP. It wasn’t an alternative, per-se, to the DS, but an augmentation.

I’ve always felt that, to get the most out of handheld gaming, one must own both a DS and PSP. The DS provides a unique gaming experience, whilst the PSP can emulate the console experience, albeit a little stripped-down in some cases. The PSP has managed to pull off a solid replication of console gaming. It’s not perfect, but many of the current-generation games released for the PSP have come off without a significant hitch.

The Sony PSP

In the year of the PSP’s launch (2005), Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories came into being. It actually looked like Grand Theft Auto III and, more importantly, it manged to play like Grand Theft Auto III.

Since this time, the PSP has had many more multi-system games released on it, and in more faithful translation than previous handhelds. Resistance: Retribution is remarkable. It puts the game in third-person view instead of first-person, and it’s not a “port” as a parallel story to the PS3 games. Assassin’s Creed: Bloodlines has a few minor flaws because of the lack of a right analog-stick, but it holds up in gameplay.

Even more incredible is Dante’s Inferno; the maps are identical to the console version’s maps. The layout is exactly the same. The only difference being the PSP game’s gameplay graphics are a little stripped-down, and the non-playable cutscenes have been simply recorded, and play in a digitized manner instead of relying on the system’s hardware to render the cutscenes, resulting in a small loss of quality and the inability to perfectly segue from gameplay to cutscene and visa versa.

There’s No Time Like The Present

So, here we are now. The DS is an excellent system, and I recommend it to all, but for anyone looking to capture the world of console gaming in handheld form should really give the PSP a try.

Sony has some excellent bundles on the market, and included in said bundles are all the things you’ll need to get started. Standard bundles usually include: game (based on your bundle), 1GB memory stick, a special-edition PSP, and the essential AC adapter and rechargeable lithium-ion battery.

The only DS bundle that is currently on the market is the DSi bundle which includes a white DSi and Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story.

How do YOU feel about the progress of handheld gaming? Discuss it below in our comments section!

[Editor's Note: If you liked Bone Meal's short history on the handheld, read his Top 10 Games for the PSP.]

Image credits: Damien Lopez, broccoli, cinefil, xcassiegotto, diodoro

Our first interview is with a collector from the United States named Ed, more popularly known as “Splatter Trigger”. ST has a love for all video gaming, and isn’t a true hater of any system or game. From the NES and up, he loves them all. He currently owns just over 20 consoles ranging from the TurboGrafx 16 to the Sega Dreamcast.

About Ed “Splatter Trigger”

“For the most part, I am a completest collector. I love everything from the NES on up, though I’m just getting into the current gen (excluding the Wii). My favorite consoles have to be the SNES and TG16/CD. My favorite game of all time would have to be The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time followed by Final Fantasy VI (or 3 here in the USA). For any more info you might need, you can check out my channel’s homepage.”

Make sure to check out Splatter Trigger’s Youtube channel here!.

The Interview

ZG: Everyone has to start off somewhere, so how did you start? What was it that made you want to start collecting video games; and how long have you been collecting?

ST: I’m going to be lazy here…the answer is in my “Why I Got Into Gaming” vlog from March 2009.

ZG: When you first started collecting video games, what was the most troublesome problem you had to overcome?

ST: When I seriously got into collecting in my early teens, it was finding a good shop to score at. At the time the internet was in its infancy so it was either pawnshops, Funcoland, Software Etc. (both which are owned by Gamestop now) and a neighborhood video rental store. Software Etc. and the rental store were the best though. They always had TG16/CD games in stock. At the time, the system was dying.

ZG: You have a really good collection and it must be very time consuming to search for video games. How do you manage balancing your free time on collecting and playing games, and spending time with family and friends?

ST: Searching for the games is actually the easy part! Playing them is difficult. I generally play handhelds during the week and my consoles on the weekend. Keep in mind this isn’t an everyday thing too. When I have some time on a weekday for example it might only be 30-40 minutes of playtime at the most. It’s very difficult to play, being a father.

ZG: Do you have a specific console or genre of games that you are currently collecting for or aim to have a full collection of? If so how do you work out which game to get next, or is more of an impulse buy?

ST: Going for a complete “Working Designs” collection at the moment. When that passes I’ll still snag WD merchandise, but will focus on the SNES, TG16/CD and imports. I really don’t have a specific genre, but more of a specific scope. And I rarely have impulse buys anymore.

ZG: What would you say is the most rewarding aspect of being a hardcore video game collector?

ST: Making the score in the wild or opening that package from whatever online site I purchased it from.

ZG: Like most collectors, you buy your games from Ebay, game stores and flea-markets, but do you have any stories about the strangest place you’ve bought a video game?

ST: Not really. I did buy a collection from a drunk (who was very drunk at the time) but it’s not that interesting of a story excluding my surprise that he drove an hour to meet me for our transaction.

ZG: What would you say was the hardest piece of your collection to obtain?

ST: At this moment it would have to be my complete copies of Vasteel and Cadash. I actually found Vasteel from a seller in the Netherlands of all places. And it was the North American WD version of Cadash. I actually waited for over a year for a complete copy before finding one. Interestingly I got it for as much as incomplete copies had been going for during that year of waiting.

ZG: As a collector, do you find it worth buying collectors editions of games or are they just a con?

ST: Tricky. Retro Limited Edition/Collector’s Edition games, I believe are worth it. Today’s LE/CE games are so mass produced (excluding imports MF v1.5 LE and Heavy Rain Collector’s Edition (UK) for example) that sometimes it’s just not worth it.

ZG: Of everything you have, what is your most treasured item and why?

ST: It’s actually not a game or console at all. It’s my father’s hand drawn maps for The Legend of Zelda NES.

ZG: What is your most desired game right now?

ST: Red Dead Redemption for the 360. Retro-wise it would be Working Designs Elemental Gearbolt Assassin Case for the PS1….but the last one sold for $3,000.00 on Ebay so it seems highly unlikely that I’ll ever get one!

ZG: Have you ever been tempted to sell your own collection? Do you think you ever will sell it?

ST: At one point I did start selling off my own collection. Then I got back into gaming and the collection continued. If my daughter doesn’t get into the hobby then yes someday I will sell it off.

ZG: Do you have any tips for people who are thinking about starting up their own collection of video games, and video game merchandise?

ST: Start of small if you want rare items. Or go with lots on Ebay, Craig’s List, tag sales or flea markets to get more products for your money. But above all, be patient. If you want something, it will come to you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this little insight into video game collecting, check back next week where I’ll be interviewing a collector from Finland who works for a video game magazine. A big thank you to Splatter Trigger for taking time out of his busy life to answer my questions, and if you still already haven’t done so, go look at his YouTube and be amazed!

What questions would you like to see in the next interview? Drop a comment or the box below or leave a post in the forums.

Click to Enlarge

The main question I am asking is, “What does the subtitle, Episode I imply?” It could mean that the game is going to be a big one and they are releasing it in parts, “episodes.” Maybe this episode will have Sonic as the playable character while possibly Episode II will have Tails, Knuckles, or someone else as the main protagonist. For now it is uncertain what the subtitle actually means. But I’m sure we’ll be finding out very soon!Will Sonic 4 live up to its hype. I personally think it can. SEGA sure seems pretty positive about it. What do you think?

For all of the latest updates on Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I, be sure to check out my Sonic 4 Update Blog.

Kelsey – Silent Hill 2

In 2001, Silent Hill’s sequel came out. Silent Hill 2 got a lot of praise, and deserved it all. The game is still creepy, the story is still compelling, the visuals are still effective, and the puzzles are still fun. To me, this is the archetypal survival horror game. It’s dark and creepy; it’s essentially an old-school point-and-click adventure game. While the point-and-click gameplay isn’t there, the puzzles and the exploration would feel at home with this almost-forgotten genre.

Grand Theft Auto III also came out this year. I remember the wonder of playing it for the first time on my computer, and it’s hard to not have it at the top. However, to me, the game lacks something to set it above SH2.

Liam – Animal Crossing

2001 was also a great year of games. I spent it learning how to wave dash in Smash bros, regretting buying The Simpson’s: Road Rage and Hit N Run, face palming upon seeing Shadow the Hedgehog in Sonic Adventure 2 and being all nostalgic over Golden Sun because of how much it reminded me of my old SNES RPG playing days. I wish I could say I had a blast playing Ico, but sadly this was one of the games I missed this year, and still need to play it. Shocking I know. But what did I spend most of my time on, in 2001? The one and only, Animal Crossing.

When I first heard of this game, something about it hooked me. I got sucked into the hype of Animal Crossing, and ended up importing it. I was just totally fascinated with a game being able to take place in real time and reflecting the current time of day and season. Fellow neighbors coming round to your virtual house, which you could expand upon, catching bugs, fishing for those rare fish doesn’t sound like a fun game on paper. I mean after all, you are basically just playing a fake life in a fake village with a bunch of animals…

However this game was addicting..perhaps too addicting. I remember skipping school to play Animal Crossing all day, trying to raise enough bells to buy that rare piece of gardening equipment, from that crook, Tom Nook. The game had a very charming atmosphere and some catchy upbeat music to go with it. In some cases I even cared about some of the village citizens, where as the rest I would hate. I’d pay weekly visits to hear K K, Slider play one of his crazy songs. Overall Animal Crossing is a game that never stops playing, even if you do. I’m sure by now my village is most likely a jungle of weeds and some angry animals.

Honorable Mentions: Evil Twin (Dreamcast, Playstation 2, Pc), Golden Sun (GBA), Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty (Playstation 2), Shenmue II (Dreamcast, XBox), Super Smash Bros: Melee (Gamecube)

Lewis – Pikmin

Genocide is a generally frowned upon topic for video games, which is why in 2001 I found myself nearly in tears after I accidentally wiped out my entire platoon of Pikmin. Despite having some rather annoying time mechanics, Pikmin was adorable, lovable, challenging and heart breaking all at the same time, trying to direct your squadron of Pikmin around a dangerous world to collect parts of your ship has never been more fun! Although, it’s also probably the only game to do it. Pikmin is a stellar title and is well worth checking out, especially with the Wii remake.

Honorable Mentions: Super Smash Bros Melee (GCN), Spider-Man 2 (PS1)

Jonathan – Grand Theft Auto III

2001 was awesome. The Xbox had the release of Halo: Combat Evolved, which some argued (at that time) was the only game worth playing on the Xbox. Many people may dislike Halo, but it’s hard to deny the importance it had for the Xbox’s success. Halo was also used to push machinima into the mainstream with the popularity of the Red vs. Blue series.

Another hit was Max Payne, released for the PC. This game’s story and mood immersed me in a way that no other game had done before. My most memorable moment was hearing the sounds of a train and not knowing where it was coming from. I turned Max around just in time to see a train come flying at me and I literally jumped hard back in my seat. No game had ever caused such a reaction in me. And let’s not forget the Bullet Time element of the game, which is just hilarious and awesome at the same time.

Runescape, the world’s most popular free MMORPG, also got its start in 2001. Since then the game has consistently grown and now has over 10 million active users. Although it doesn’t have the story or production values of a game like World of Warcraft, it definitely holds its own and the price couldn’t be better.

And finally, my pick for the best game of 2001 is Grand Theft Auto III, the king of sandbox games. Borrowing design elements from the the Nintendo 64 classic Body Harvest, Grand Theft Auto III created a new sense of freedom never before seen. It also brought along a lot of controversy for its display of violence and sexuality. But along with that, the story and gameplay made it a fun world to spend countless hours in. Grand Theft Auto III not only created a new type of game, but it has influenced many others and the way video games are made in general.

Joe – Super Smash Bros. Melee

I thought it was hard thinking of the best game of 2000. But 2001 is even worse. It was the first year of a new generation of consoles. With the releases of the Playstation 2, Gamecube, and Xbox, 2001 saw a lot of great new games.

Super Smash Bros. Melee was great for many reasons. When you had friends over, it was a great party game. And if you grew up in the early days of Nintendo games, it was chock-full of nostalgia. One of the main reasons I loved this game was the fact that it featured characters from so many of my favorite games. Melee had something for everyone.  It had all of the greatness of the N64 game and added so much more! The fighting was more advanced and the roster was twice as big. (Many were clones of others.) Super Smash Bros. Melee was the best-selling game for the Nintendo Gamecube, and that really says something about its greatness.

Honorable Mentions: Sonic Adventure 2 (Dreamcast), Ico (PS2)

Kelsey – Risk II

Risk II certainly is an odd choice at a glance. This wasn’t a year in gaming where there was a “drought” of games. The PC also saw the releases of Diablo II and Deus Ex – both considered classics. I definitely spent a lot of time playing both those titles, but Risk II is the ultimate party game (in my mind). Get a few friends, have a computer player or two, and sit around a laptop. The game has two modes – Classic and Same Time – that change up this classic board game. New territories have been added, you can change the value of continents, and there are new access points into continents to balance the game out. This is all in addition to providing friends a chance to vie for world conquest!

Liam – Skies of Arcadia

2000 was a tough choice for me, many of my favorite games were released this fine year, but after a grueling battle I had to pick the game that I’ve completed so many times and had the most fun with.

I first played Skies of Arcadia on a demo disc from Official Dreamcast Magazine UK, The demo was an hour’s long worth of game play. As soon as I saw the opening I fell in love. The music was grand and the character’s all had their own charm. It felt like they had been created with loving care. The Skies of Arcadia world was just amazing as well. Each town and capital city felt like it was alive, and I had even picked my own favorite town. The story revolves around pirates; you’re one of the good pirates. Think of Robin Hood and you’re on the right track. I think my favorite thing about Skies of Arcadia was the ship battles. I just loved blasting down enemy black pirate ships, or the evil Vaula Armada.

Overall, if you love J-RPG’s and Pirates, then do try to hunt down a copy of this game, you won’t regret it.

Honorable Mentions: Shenmue (Dreamcast), Final Fantasy IX (PS1), Grandia II (Dreamcast), Legend Of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (N64)

Lewis – Spyro 3: Year of the Dragon

What if I told you that in 2000 I spent my childhood running around burning the face off rhinos and desperately trying to save some eggs? Those of you who had a PS1 at the time would probably declare “Spyro 3: Year of the Dragon! Man that game was awesome!” And it was. A huge sprawling game, Spyro 3 took everything anyone could love about the series and turned up all the features to 11. Massive over-worlds, bigger levels, so many side-quests and mini-games you could often leave the main game well behind and even 4 new playable characters! A mix of RARE style collect ‘em up and Super Mario 64 exploration, Spyro dominated my childhood, and stands as one of the few games I beat 112%.

Honorable Mention: Banjo Tooie (N64), Spiderman (PS1.N64)

Jonathan – WWF No Mercy

2000 was a good year in gaming, especially for me. PC gamers saw such classics like the dark American McGee’s Alice and the dungeon-roaming perfection known as Diablo II. On the console side, the Nintendo 64 had the release of Rare’s Perfect Dark, which was highly anticipated because of the huge success Rare had with Goldeneye 007, a game many proclaim as the father of console first-person shooters. 2000 also had the release of Spiderman for the PS1 and N64, which was arguably the greatest superhero game ever made up until that point.

But best of all, 2000 gave me one of my favorite video games of all time: WWF No Mercy. This was the 4th and final N64 wrestling game created by THQ. With each wrestling game they made, they got a little better, and finally hit their peak with No Mercy, which many gamers still consider to have the best grappling-engine to be seen in video games. There were plans of a sequel titled WWF Backlash, but the Nintendo 64 era had passed before it was released. My heart wonders what could have been…

Joe – Shenmue

The year 2000 brought us some of the greatest games ever created; making this a very tough choice for me.  The year brought us so many classics, such as The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask, Marvel  vs. Capcom 2, Perfect Dark, the list just goes on. I was very close to choosing Majora’s Mask for this one. But then I realized that although it was released in Japan in 1999, Shenmue was released everywhere else in 2000. I haven’t played the game in at least 9 years, but it still sticks with me.

The set-up to each participating contributor’s list is simple, for each year of this decade they can pick one game they consider the best – and if they feel necessary an honorable mention or two can be selected with very brief reasons as to why they didn’t make the cut. There are no set criteria for what makes a particular game standout for a particular year. Games may make the list due to interesting ideas and ambitious goal, just for being really entertaining, or being influential.

Enjoy reading the games we found outstanding over this past decade!

• Read our Year 2000 picks!
• Read our Year 2001 picks!
• Read our Year 2002 picks!
• Read our Year 2003 picks!
• Read our Year 2004 picks!
• Read our Year 2005 picks!
• Read our Year 2006 picks!
• Read our Year 2007 picks!
• Read our Year 2008 picks!
• Read our Year 2009 picks!